Here I am ... hoping my 6 week old son sleeps another 30 minutes so I can attempt my first blog post.
Yes...I am a virgin blogger. I always thought of myself as someone who was "current" with technology. I know how to use the TIVO. I can hold my own on the PC. I can even download music. But, I found recently that my 32 year old brain is behind. Technology has sped past me and now I struggle to keep up. And seriously, I am NOT old.
Anyway, so here is my first post.
I have probably chosen a bad day for my first post. I feel pretty down today. Blame it on the stupid hormones or lack of...not sure which. My son was born 6 weeks ago today and I am still an uncontrolable ball of emotion. Tears of joy, sadness, loneliness, guilt, boredom...you name it...I have cried because of it. Per doctors instructions, I am giving it another 2 weeks. Just in time for me to go back to work and be upset about that. Motherhood is guilt ridden I have discovered.
Guilt for wanting to be around adults. Guilt for having the TV on Law & Order around my son. Guilt that I don't clean up more around the house while my husband is at work. Guilt that it doesn't all come so naturally.
I told my friend today that I was surprised that I wanted to go back to work. Don't get me wrong...I will really miss being around my son. But, I think I need to be out of the house and around adults. (sigh...guilt) She said the most profound thing....well, for me at the moment anyway. She said.."what is good for you is good for him"...and she is right. I know she is.
I choose to believe it will be good for my son too!
Who...is now awake and crying...gotta run!
1 comment:
WHAT???? You didn't tell me you started a blog! I'm thrilled. It's great to catch a glimpse of you in your daily routine. I saw your comment on my blog and had to figure out who "The Mother" was. So good to see that it's you.
And hey...don't beat yourself up. The first year of motherhood is a wonderful but hard time. You're doing the best you know to do and Bishop is benefiting from you. If you're having the blues, get some help. I had a really hard time when I was pregnant with Wyatt and my dr. put me on Zoloft. I went off of it right before he was born and found that a B vitamin complex, St. John's Wort, 5HTP and natural progrestone really help to balance out the hormone insanity I deal with. Still take it everyday now and I swear by it.
Anyway...look forward to hearing more from you.
Now, if I could convince you to join Facebook...
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